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We want to start swinging very slow

Dear Tom and Bunny


I came across to one of your videos and I have seen many of them so as you can imagine what kind of search I was doing. Just a little bit about myself. I have been married for more than 26 years, we got married when we were eighteen and this is something that you also mention on one of your videos about getting married at a young age. We live in South Florida. We would like to start very slow, we consider ourselves to be conservative so I want to get your advice to see what is the best to start and see if we like to be voyeurs or exhibitionist,  or something else so what do you recommend is the best way to start because one thing is to say it and another is to do it. Maybe go to the Hotel in Hollywood? Anyway, your videos help a lot but still if you can give us some advice will be great.

Thank you



We are very aware of the hotel you mention in your email, while it is a great hotel and a lot of fun and we recommend it to everyone new and experienced, for what you are asking specifically we do not think this is the best avenue to take if you are wanting to see a full picture of what a swingers situation really is.  with you being in South Florida and you mention Hollywood, if you go over to Trapeze Ft. Lauderdale on a Saturday night, the club will be packed full of people.  you can go people watch to your hearts desires from the mixing and mingling in the social areas and the dance floor and of course you can walk the play rooms all without having to do anything you do not want to do.  If you decide you want to play, there are both an everyone is welcome area and a couples only area. They have a great staff, bartenders and a full food buffet that would be 5 stars so that you do not even have to go eat before going and you can bring your own alcohol and they have all the mixers, please remember to tip your bartenders.  they do have a valet, we highly suggest you valet because they have all the upfront parking and your car is at risk parking on your own unless you get there really early you may find some spare up front parking.  Go in with smiles and appear to be approached and talk to people, remember, talking is not a guarantee to sex on either side; however it is a lot more fun talking to people than being a wall flower.  Be part of the party and you will want to go back again.   We suggest you go to our site (which we assume you have already been) and click on Clubs; you can watch our Trapeze Ft Lauderdale video to see what it looks like on the inside.  Sorry we do not have a Miami Velvet video and we have not been able to reach anyone about doing a video there and we do not have any experience there but you can also check out that club and know you do not need to do anything you do not want to do, as we say in our videos, you can only go as fast as the slowest person and there is no need to rush that person.  We also recently did a few videos that would cater to you, go to our videos link and click on the following videos – Misconceptions about the Swinging Lifestyle, Get up and meet people!, It’s expensive to be a swinger and Sex and Boundaries.  There are allot more videos that you can also watch but those are our newest.  Also just in case you do play, we made a video What’s in our play bag, always be prepared.

We would love to hear back from you on what you have experienced; Sort of keep tabs on how you are enjoying or not enjoying the lifestyle and your feedback on your experiences.

Thank you for your email

Tom and Bunny

If you have questions, please feel free to email us and we will do our best to answer with our opinions how we would do it.

This question will be seen in August 2019 ASN LIfestyle Magazine

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Vanilla Hunters tried to play with our Son and his Girlfriend

Vanilla Hunting:

Lets start off with the fact that we do not condone Vanilla Hunting. For those of you who do not know what that is. It is a Lifestyle couple who will go to regular bars and pick up non lifestyle couples. Typically doing so by buying their drinks, getting them drunk and then making their move.

When this is done to a non lifestyle couple, it is an unfair advantage that the swinger couple has. The vanilla couple has not had the opportunity to talk about a non monogamous relationship and  discuss what  could or could not happen. Thus, damaging a relationship sometimes to the point of the couple breaking up. We have seen and heard about relationships not lasting after these encounters and we have also seen some couples decide that is what they would like to pursue and will contact a club or party or join a lifestyle matchmaking website to see if is truly for them.

Now, this actually happened to our Son and Girlfriend this weekend. we will refer to them as Steven and Joann , so they can remain anonymous. They are young and their relationship is just hitting the one year mark. Steven works away during the week and they only see each other on the weekends. We do know that they are not in a non monogamous relationship and at this point they should not be. They are still working on their communication skills and jealousy issues. If this couple had succeeded this weekend, It would have destroyed them.

The crazy part is that we were all staying at the same Hotel for a reunion. Steven and Joann  went to a show and sat next to an older couple who were “extremely“ nice to them. This couple befriended them, asked them all kinds of personal questions and in return told them things to make them feel comfortable. They had told them that they were in a long distance relationship and that he lived in Oklahoma and she was a over the road Truck driver.  The man also told Joann that he likes to wear Kilts but is afraid to tell his girlfriend which sounded strange. They paid the bar for our son and his girlfriend tab at the end of the show and invited them to go to Catalina with them the next day. All expenses paid.

After the show and drinks, they invited them back to their room to get another drink. Now, we lifestyle people know what comes next! But, it backfired on them. No sooner did they get to this couples room did we call wondering where they were at so we could get a drink and visit with our Son. When Steven and Joann came to our room and told us what happened and that they met this really nice couple, we explained to them what had just happened and what they were leading up to and they had no clue.

We had a few drinks and talked for a few minutes in our room with Steven and Joann and then went to bed. About an hour later Joann called me in a panic to let us know that she was having trouble with Steven. When we got to the room Steven was clearly incoherent. He kept passing out to the point where he did not look like he was breathing.  We made him vomit and kept force feeding him water. None of us have ever seen him like this and we are inclined to believe that he was slipped a ruphie. But with no proof we could not be sure but all we could think about was “what would have happened had we not called”.

The next day, this couple kept calling and texting Joann. We told them to ignore it and they would give up. Well, what happens next, they show up at our Sons hotel room. Apparently In a drunken state, they had shared their room number and phone number with this couple. When this woman knocked on the door saying it was housekeeping, Ms. Mama bear Bunny answered! You should have seen the shocked look on their faces! This couple was much older than we are! She said that she was friends with Steven and Joann  and that they had plans to go to Catalina. Bunny proceeded to tell her that they were staying in and that Steven was very ill from the night before. Oh, and of course it was family day. The couple put their tails between their legs and walked off. If Bunny had claws they would have been out at that time.

We have been in the swinging lifestyle for 22 years. We were able to pick up on the clues immediately.  So if you decide you want to go vanilla hunting, think about what consequences lay ahead for the couple and have respect for them. Please don’t hurt another couples relationship for yourself satisfaction.  And that way you will not have to meet a Mama Bear protecting her cubs.

That sums up our Saturday night. How was yours?

How do you deal with Rejection

Dear Tom and Bunny
We have been fans for a while and we watch all of your videos because not only do we find them informative but the way you both interact is entertaining and wanted to thank you for doing them. We have recently started going to clubs and we have not approached anyone because, honestly we are afraid of being rejected. We went back through your videos but we don’t recall anything be about how to handle rejection, but we do have a personal question for you both. Have you two personally been rejected? and if so, how did you handle it? Can you still be friends with someone who rejected you? T & P

Dear T&P,
Thank you for watching our videos, we enjoy doing them and we are glad you find our interaction entertaining. To answer your question, Yes we have been rejected many times, it’s just how the lifestyle is. Does it hurt our feelings? to be honest, yes it does, but we also know we are not going to be someone else cup of tea. There are so many variations when two couples meet up, so many that we say there is a 75% chance nothing will happen because it only takes one to say no. From our personal experience and we will assume many are like us, not all but many. We obviously look for a physical attraction with potential playmates and if we don’t have a physical attraction we will see if a mental attraction develops because honestly, more times than not for us, people we have played with from a physical attraction wasn’t as good as playing with someone who we have developed a mental attraction with. if we have either of those two and we feel the other couple is feeling something like we are, we might step up and ask if they are interested in taking things further and we know that’s a bold step because we are opening a door to rejection and we all know that never feels good. If we are rejected, we won’t lie, we go into a fetus position and cry it out for a while, maybe even kick and screen and whine wondering what was wrong with us! OK, we lied, we don’t do any of that, but we do understand that if you don’t ask you won’t know and if you wait for the other couple to ask, they may never ask themselves and at least we know where we stand. Can we be friends with people who have rejected us? Absolutely we can, this lifestyle is a small community and we are here to meet people, chances are high that because one couple rejected you or should we say not interested in playing with you, doesn’t mean they can’t be friends with you and even better, know someone you may be more compatible with that you yourself find just as attractive either or both physically or mentally. There is currently a lot of topics we are seeing about rejection and how people handle it, everyone handles it differently however those who can take those rejections and grow from them will have a lot more fun in the swinging lifestyle.

Tom and Bunny

Drama within the Lifestyle

Bunny’s Rant

This is a sore subject. Most everyone will experience some sort of drama in their lifetime. Why bring it into your swinging lifestyle?

As former club managers we had to deal with all types of people and issues. Sometimes it is not an easy task. There is always going to be groups of people. This all started back in elementary school and proceeds into adult life. You have your cool kids, the jocks, the nerds, the bullies etc. We all know this and yet, we seem to bring it into our adult life.  And yes, it carries into the Swing Clubs, Meet and Greets, Vacations, Websites and it seems like the worst of it is on Social Media.  Try not to stick with just one group of people. Venture out of your comfort zone and go meet all the people you can no matter who they are. You never know, you could always end up really liking the band geek flute player.

We all have issues in our lives that we deal with on a daily basis and we want to go out on the weekends to have fun and escape the daily grind of our home and work life. Everyone likes to cut loose, dance, and have a great time. And a lot of us who are swingers like to meet and play with other like minded individuals. What everyone needs to remember is that we were all born the same way. No one is better than the other. It does not matter who you associate with, how much money you have or what body type you have. Were all in this for the same thing: To have fun and meet great people.

If you hear something from someone keep it to yourself, it may or may not be true. Wherever there is a gathering place with people there will always be rumors.  But, that is where the issue should stop.  Our advice is to go out, have fun, let all negativity roll off of you,  don’t take sides and meet at least 3 new couples a night.  This will make your lifestyle experience better for you and all you choose to meet.

CouplesXcape 1st annual Tutu run

December 2, 2018

Talk about an epic weekend! Tom and I had such an amazingly fun time this past weekend. We have hit the road again promoting Toms Trips adult travel. We were invited to attend the CouplesXcape 1st annual Tutu run in no other than the funnest place in the South, Bourbon Street in New Orleans Louisiana.

Friday night was the first party of the weekend and we all went to Colette Club.  Colette is an on premise Swing Club located in Downtown New Orleans just a few blocks from Bourbon Street. It is a great club that offers so much for Swingers of all levels. We did a video tour of the great club last year and you can see that video right here, on our website.  The evening was full of fun and laughter and we met so many new people as well as got to know some of our other friends much better.

Saturday, Oh Boy, Saturday! Well, this day started off early as we all met at 10:30am for Mimosa’s and pictures. This was the 1st annual TuTu run for CouplesXcape and did we ever leave our mark on the town. I came dressed in a Superman dress with pink and black tutu along with my bunny ears and I was “Super Bunny”. Tom had on his riddler shirt which said “What is white on top and black down below?” a green riddler cape and of course a green tutu. The costumes and tutus that people put together were so much fun and some were very, very sexy! You swingers sure know how to dress for a party.

I think the highlight of the day was when I was convinced to ride the bull at Bourbon Cowboy. I have been there so many times and have never even thought about it. Well, after a little (lot) of alcohol, I did it! Wow… do you know how hard that bull is to get on? That was the hardest part, but I mounted that bull like I mount Tom every night. Luckily I am a female so they take it easier on the women that they do the men. I did realize that I am a little older and more out of shape than I allow myself to believe. Geez, did my arm hurt the next day!

After the day of debauchery and getting dinner and a nap it was time to start all over again. It was a dress sexy night and there were so many sexy women and hot men. Tom and I worked the evening at the Toms Trips table where we met even more couples and we gave out a voucher for 2 free nights to Hedonism Resort in Jamaica as well as Kasidie memberships and other prizes. A little later in the evening Bob and Tess from Naughty in Nawlins came in to party with all of us. They are such a fun couple and they party on the best Convention! You all definitely need to check out the Naughty in Nawlins Convention this summer. We finally ended our weekend at 3:30am after many, many shots of Fireball.

We would like to thank Richard, Danielle, Bobby and Jamie who run CouplesXcape for putting on such a fun event. We will be back next year for this incredible event.

CouplesXcape 1st annual Tutu run CouplesXcape 1st annual Tutu run CouplesXcape 1st annual Tutu run CouplesXcape 1st annual Tutu run

1 Year Anniversary with Toms Trips

Our one year Anniversary with Toms Trips
On November 5, 2018 we hit our one year mark with Toms Trips! It has been an amazing year with new challenges and best of all, new adventures. We are now situated in Alabama. I won’t say that we’re planting our roots as we are not sure where we will end up in the next 3 years. Moving to a small town in the South was quite a culture shock from Southern California. But, we have taken it all in stride and have embraced our small town life when we are not on the road.

Our first year was a learning experience for us. Tom and I both have backgrounds in customer service and customer care so that is a forte that we could bring to Toms Trips. But, unlike freedom Acres where everyone knew us and approached us, now we’re the new kids on the block and have to approach others. Sometimes, it can be a little intimidating; you just have to put yourself out there with a handshake and a smile. We both love getting to meet and socialize with everyone we meet from all walks of life. So, please if you see us in a club or event please come say hello.

Once again we will be traveling to Hedonism and Desire this year. We are looking to add other travel destinations outside of the US. Keep an eye on our schedule for upcoming trips we have planned.
We start traveling again this weekend. We will have 3 weekends in a row here in the South which we are really excited to attend. We will be spending New Years Eve at Players DFW and then head down to the Austin area. This will be an incredible year for us and we are ready to hit the road again.