We are always asked about how we meet people or how they could meet us?
Because of our openness about the swinging lifestyle and yes we are a couple that enjoys meeting other couples and select singles for friendships and fun! We do receive a lot of email messages and comments on our videos and post about wanting to meet us just to meet us to actual offers to play. We created this page to help people meet us for the possibilities of play and some hints on how to get our attention, and others.
If you are on any of these sites already, you can send us an email to our profile and we are listed as TomandBunny on all three sites.
If not a member on any of the sites, you can join them all for FREE with no credit card required. On Kasidie, they offer us 90 days free and SDC and SLS 30 days free, these are not bait sites but actual real sites that we use for our personal lifestyle experience. Each site offers their own unique features and we suggest joining them all. One site may have a better following in one location over another, so not all sites would work depending on your location. We found benefits using all three during our travels.
Description of you as a couple or single lady or single male:
Take a minute and complete a quality description. Tell a story about you, as a couple, single lady or single male. Describe to the reader who they would meet in person, you do not have to go overboard. Avoid a one line description such as “We are a hot couple, looking for other hot couples”. We like substance in the people we plan to meet, and because we have not met you, we would want to feel we have some connection when we do meet in person.
Some suggestions, describe each of you individually with as much detail to give the reader a mental visualization of you. IE: hair color and length, eye color, body type, sense of humor or lack of. When describing yourselves you don’t have to be vulgar or tell the world how amazing you are at oral or sexual positions. Its good idea to tell people what you like to do or what you would like to try. You should comment your level of play you are comfortable with, such as are you Straight, Bi sexual, Bi Curious, open to all possibilities but undecided on your sexuality. You should also include some personal activities as many others may be attracted to someone they have something in common with, IE: Do you ride motorcycles, do you go boating, camping, sing karaoke etc…
What are you looking for:
Our biggest suggestion is keeping this area all positives and no negatives. You can list what you don’t want without being rude about it. You don’t have to go overboard on this section, the more you add the more you will exclude, if that makes any sense. it’s like a search, the more you put in the less results come up. If you are looking for Couples only this would be a good place to put that. You don’t have to scream that “If we want a single male we will contact you”, if they email you, you can just delete the email. No need to make your profile rude and you shouldn’t fault people for at least reaching out. While you may not be into something today, doesn’t mean tomorrow you may change your mind, that is the beauty of swinging.
Suggestions of what you should list and what you are looking for. IE: If you are very specific and only want fit couples, list that as requirement, however if you are open to all body types, you should mention that so people will know. If you don’t want people who smoke you should mention that, if you don’t care if they smoke or not, there is no reason to mention that.
We personally are attracted to profiles that can articulate what they want without sounding negative to those who they are not interested in, meaning, we prefer nice and positive people. some will say they are being direct, we say there is a huge difference between being direct and just being rude.
Contacting us on sites:
When emailing us, it is best to tell us something other than just a one word email IE: “Hello” or “Hey” or “Hi“. Tell us what brought you to email us. What was it in our profile that specifically made you feel you had a connection, was it our photos, was it something in our profile description, maybe what we were looking for, or was it something we listed that we enjoyed that caught your eye? We, like many others, like compliments. We want to know that someone actually took the time to read our profile, looked at our photos and genuinely had an attraction to us as a couple, not just one of us. When we email people we always tell them why we are contacting them, but we also list some things in their profile that we found exciting so they know we read their profile, and we always end our email with a question that they can respond to.
Here is our list that we look at when we receive an email:
- Did the email introduce themselves and ask questions we could respond to?
- Is the profile a Couple, Single Female or Single male?
- Does the profile have any photos?
- If a couple, are there photos of both the male and female posted?
- If they have photos, what is the quality of photos, how old are the photos?
- Do they have faces? if not do they have private photos?
- Did they open their private photos when they initially emailed us?
- We read the full description and what they are looking for in others
- Does the description and seeking appear to be what we would be looking for?
- We will look at the profile location and ages of the couple or single
- If available we look at the age of the profile, how long have they been on the site
- We will look for certification of the profile and compare to the date of the profile
- We will look at the dates of the certification, are they old or recent
- We actually read the certifications and look at the profiles of those who certified
Follow up on what we look for:
We put our face photos on all our profiles and we do have private photos that we do share with profiles that we have an attraction to. We understand that not everyone can or feels comfortable putting their faces on their profile, we do expect to actually see the couple that we will be emailing with. We suggest putting your non face photos in the public or verified photo gallery and your faces in the private gallery. We would expect people who do not have publicly visible face photos to open their privates without us asking them to. Some express they wanted to see if we had an attraction on their profile before opening their private photos, the answer is no, without seeing your entire profile, we do not. You can have all the body photos in the world, we are attracted to warm smiles and pleasant looks. We only share our private photos with people we actually plan to meet, our face and body photos are all visible to everyone already. We prefer to see G-Rated photos, and we enjoy seeing nudes of the people we plan to play with, but we don’t have to see nudes on the initial email. We upload quality photos, so we expect with the technology of the phones and cameras today, there is no reason for grainy or low quality photos. We feel that they are hiding something or they are very old photos from old technology and we have to question, what do they look like today.
We meet people based on both physical and mental attractions:
We understand people may use different names in the lifestyle, fudge their ages and weights etc.. we don’t care. It’s about physical and mental attractions, that is why we require photos for the physical and a well written profile for the mental. A good example is we know couples in their mid to late 60’s that look like they are in their 30’s and 40’s and we know couples in their 30’s and 40’s that look in their 60’s. We never go by ages or weights, if we look at a couple and say ” We wouldn’t kick them out of bed for eating crackers “, we have an attraction.
Remember, there are a lot of fakes, flakes and catfish on the internet, use your best judgement. We look for certifications to help us make a decision. However, we don’t view certifications from the website as a “real” certification, we honestly hate those because anyone can hold a sign with their screen name and date and get certified. We want to see that the profile actually met another profile or went to a club / event. We at least know the profile actually met someone physically and in person.
We suggest what you should not include in your profile:
- SCREAM IN ALL CAPS
- Repeating NO SINGLE MALES throughout your profile.
- Boosting how awesome you are at oral skills, everyone is a master oral manipulator.
- Make the reader feel insecure about their abilities because you boost yours (IE: I will make your wife cum like never before)
- That you are Shy, everybody is shy when meeting someone new, it shows lack of confidence.
- Putting NO DRAMA or DRAMA FREE, these profiles are typically the drama
- Listing as a couple but are single, if you were a couple and no longer, change your profile.
- being too politically correct, IE: if you require condoms, put that, if your don’t, don’t add it and try to play without them. people don’t like liars.
- Politics, leave the politics or views at home. If you are just so dead set you can’t play with someone with opposing views, list it. (Still sounds like a negative)
- Negatives, your profile should be 100% positive, the reader will see your negativity as a reason not to contact you or reply to your emails.
We do not use KIK:
To finish up, we get a lot of emails that tell us that the profile doesn’t post photos but to chat them on KIK and they will send photos on there. We honestly do not use KIK. If a profile chooses not to upload photos to the sites listed below, we wouldn’t be interested in going out of our way to communicate in another spectrum just to get photos.
We hope we gave you an honest view on how we view other profiles and how we engage with others on matchmaker websites. and our opinion as to how others would also treat other profiles contacting them.
We do receive our share of emails and we appreciate it. To be up front, we do not feel because we have a profile and someone emails us we are required to respond.
We mainly look to meet with couples. Please feel free to email us on these sites, we do keep an open mind and our options open. We would be very picky on who we allow as a single male into our personal lifestyle, but know that your profile needs to be really appealing with full photos of you and your face for us to respond and that your email and profile is respectful. we only reply to emails that we feel we would be a match, and if we do reply to your email, that doesn’t mean that we are a sure thing, it just means your profile peaked our curiosity. Note: Tom is not a cuckold and we have no intention of someone wanting to dominate either one of us.
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