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How does TomandBunny Play in the Lifestyle
On this podcast we answer questions from our viewers about how we play in the Pineapple World aka The Lifestyle. Sit back and enjoy as we open ourselves up and give personal details we normally reserve for people we are actually planning to play with!
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/tomandbunny
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/tomandbunny
Transcript
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:22:25 Tom Hey, everyone. Tom and Bunny here and I know we're getting ready to watch our next video. And if you find this video useful or some of the videos from the past, please do us a favor by booking your travel through us at Tom's trips.com, or give us a call at 1-800-285-0853 and I can answer any questions and get you booked on your next lifestyle vacation. 00:00:22:25 - 00:00:38:23 Tom Welcome to Tom and bunny.com. Here is another episode of our Opinions Mean Nothing and Pineapple World. But it might give you some guidance on helping you navigate this. I mean, wide open lifestyle. 00:00:38:24 - 00:00:42:15 Bunny It's so completely different than when we started. Yeah, so completely different. 00:00:42:16 - 00:01:06:25 Tom Our shameless plug, we are Tom and Bunny. We work for Tom's trips here. Leader and adult lifestyle travel to destinations around the world, including resorts, cruises and events. If you want to book travel, please call us at 802 850853. Our visit Tom's trips.com and let us get you booked today and let us show you a good time. 00:01:06:27 - 00:01:07:16 Bunny Of course. 00:01:07:17 - 00:01:08:16 Tom That is our motto. 00:01:08:19 - 00:01:12:03 Bunny That is, Will you look a little tropical later? I know. 00:01:12:08 - 00:01:14:24 Tom I know, our last video I was wearing. 00:01:14:27 - 00:01:17:14 Bunny yeah. Ray. Hawaii. You must have gone shopping. 00:01:17:15 - 00:01:19:28 Tom We must have gone. So I'm in a medium. 00:01:20:01 - 00:01:25:03 Bunny I know, I know a medium. Oh, wow. 00:01:25:05 - 00:01:25:25 Tom Don't be a hater. 00:01:25:25 - 00:01:28:12 Bunny You've never been a medium. 00:01:28:14 - 00:01:29:15 Tom Don't be a hater. 00:01:29:18 - 00:01:30:23 Bunny I know, right? 00:01:30:28 - 00:01:33:02 Tom I was going into double extra large. 00:01:33:04 - 00:01:34:13 Bunny I know, I know you were. 00:01:34:20 - 00:01:47:03 Tom I went from 238 pounds to. I'm now about 160. And oh I saw so on notice. Okay. Someone calling you who's calling. 00:01:47:03 - 00:01:48:06 Bunny Spam spam. 00:01:48:07 - 00:02:04:08 Tom Spam potential spam. So anyway we get we get asked a lot of questions. So this video we're going to focus on one of the questions that we get asked a lot. What is the question. 00:02:04:10 - 00:02:05:27 Bunny How do you play. 00:02:05:29 - 00:02:08:01 Tom And what's the meaning of that. How do we play. 00:02:08:01 - 00:02:37:25 Bunny Well they you know, we give a little more information. All right. So the in this our pineapple world has grown and expanded so much from what it did 20 years ago. Yes. And so many different people are seek other different options. Correct. So they actually asked how how do we approach it. and do we separate room, do we go on dates. 00:02:37:27 - 00:02:39:28 Bunny do we go out alone. 00:02:40:00 - 00:02:53:19 Tom So we when we first got into the pineapple world and we got into a lot longer a long time ago before the pineapples were even invented in this lifestyle. 00:02:53:19 - 00:02:54:20 Bunny Yes. 00:02:54:22 - 00:03:06:17 Tom I know some people want to believe that they came out in the 50s and it was a military thing. And we cannot establish that from anybody. That's over the I mean. 00:03:06:25 - 00:03:09:08 Bunny Even well into their 70s, 80, 80. 00:03:09:08 - 00:03:09:26 Tom 90. 00:03:09:26 - 00:03:10:04 Bunny Yeah. 00:03:10:05 - 00:03:11:09 Tom We can't find anyone. 00:03:11:10 - 00:03:17:07 Bunny And yes, we do know people that old that are that had run clubs are still in the lifestyle. 00:03:17:11 - 00:03:38:13 Tom So we did a lot of talking when we first got into it. And one of our laundry list of rules that we narrowed down to, we what we do is we create and I will use the word rules, but it's not I don't know what a good word to use here is, but. 00:03:38:15 - 00:03:39:04 Bunny boundary. 00:03:39:05 - 00:03:53:21 Tom Boundaries. That's a great word. so we, we create boundaries based on previous experiences, meaning we found ourselves because we came into this with. 00:03:53:23 - 00:03:57:01 Bunny Page, like a book. you. 00:03:57:01 - 00:04:18:28 Tom Can't do this. You can't do that. You can't even look at someone too long. You can't have too much fun. there was just so many things that we were enjoying. Nothing. It was to the point where it wasn't even worth doing because we neither of us were having fun. Because we're too worried about breaking a boundary. 00:04:19:00 - 00:04:19:26 Bunny Absolutely. 00:04:19:26 - 00:04:24:27 Tom Are offending the other person are hurting the other person. The last thing we want to do is hurt each other. 00:04:24:29 - 00:04:47:13 Bunny And, and yes in the beginning we did break boundaries and in the night it didn't end well because we broke boundaries. And guess what. You have to go home. You have to discuss it, you have to talk it over and you got to work through it and either you continue on with that in the pineapple world or you step back. 00:04:47:13 - 00:05:28:03 Tom And so we eliminated all of our roles as we called them, back them. And we created boundaries of respect based on prior experiences. So how do we play when we are active with other people? Afterwards we come home. We actually discuss after every encounter. We still discuss every encounter, and we want to know what we liked about it, because the whole point of being in this is because we're having a great time and we we want to enjoy it. 00:05:28:05 - 00:05:53:23 Tom but the most important thing and it never is a requirement. But if there was something that we did not like, it didn't sit well. We felt the green eyed monster coming on. We discussed it more, and if it was something that was really, truly an issue, we would create a boundary based on that is go. Nothing else, just that scope. 00:05:53:25 - 00:05:59:09 Tom And later on we might even release that boundary because we've grown up. 00:05:59:23 - 00:06:01:08 Tom Yeah. And grown past. 00:06:01:13 - 00:06:02:26 Bunny That. Yeah. 00:06:02:27 - 00:06:13:25 Tom Because yeah everyone gets jealous in this lifestyle. So a couple of our boundaries is we prefer to play with couples. 00:06:13:27 - 00:06:14:16 Bunny Yes. 00:06:14:19 - 00:06:30:19 Tom We don't prefer to play with couples that only one plays. We want everyone active. We would prefer just to be wingman and friends. We could be friends with everybody. It doesn't matter. Well, not everybody. We who? We haven't. 00:06:30:19 - 00:06:31:10 Bunny Come new. 00:06:31:17 - 00:06:40:20 Tom We have encountered a few that they tested our limits and we couldn't. We didn't want to hang out with them. 00:06:40:23 - 00:06:43:08 Bunny They were way, 00:06:43:10 - 00:07:15:02 Tom Different than we were. So, same room. We we have we we've we've tried to separate play, but the whole point of us being in it is for us to have fun together. Now we get it, other people will play separately and everything, and that's perfectly fine. Some people get stage fright or they get, antsy because their spouses watching, or whatever. 00:07:15:05 - 00:07:31:13 Tom We actually prefer it because Bunny, I mean, knowing my history of Eddie since I was in my 20s, Bunny can cue in and see if I was struggling or not. If she wasn't there, I'd be on my own. 00:07:31:13 - 00:07:33:17 Bunny Yeah, yeah. And you're hearing. 00:07:33:25 - 00:07:34:22 Tom Am I hearing. 00:07:34:22 - 00:07:58:16 Bunny Because, with his hearing aids, he can't do any he doesn't play with his hearing aids. And because of the fact is you put your hands over his head and of course, he's going to start whistling. So he never, never does anything with his hearing aids in, in. Therefore, he was always afraid of hearing the word stop and not being able to hear it right now. 00:07:58:18 - 00:08:18:21 Tom I would just tell the female if, if I'm doing something that you don't want or like, or you're not enjoying, don't tell me. Just put your hand on my forehead and push me back. I will take offense to that. No, that's it's called, an unsaid body language. 00:08:18:22 - 00:08:19:27 Bunny Well, I have to do it to him. 00:08:19:28 - 00:08:20:26 Tom She does it to me. 00:08:20:26 - 00:08:22:22 Bunny Yeah, well, it's time to stop. 00:08:22:24 - 00:09:02:22 Tom She starts tapping me. Now, another boundary that we have, and we know a lot of couples like doing is the whole holding hands with the opposite person while they're out at dinner, sitting with the with the other person. Me and binding prefer to be together all the way up until any activity starts. We do not want to be part of the other people, because when we're out in public, we want to be seen as Tom and Bonnie. 00:09:02:24 - 00:09:09:12 Tom it's nothing against anybody. It's just kind of our comfort zone, or at least my comfort zone. 00:09:09:13 - 00:09:32:20 Bunny Exactly. So we all, everybody does everything different and, and you know, we have had those couples say, well here Bonnie will sit here and I'm like, no, I won't. I mean, I sit with Tom and you've got it. If somebody does something and you're not on, come. If you're uncomfortable with you, just tell them, hey, no, no, no, no, I'm not going to do that. 00:09:32:22 - 00:09:34:08 Bunny Right. you. 00:09:34:08 - 00:09:35:18 Tom Don't have to be so abrupt, Pike. 00:09:35:18 - 00:09:40:04 Bunny Funny was. I know. Well, I did, I. 00:09:40:04 - 00:09:47:02 Tom Know, but you don't have to be that abrupt. You could be polite and just say, well, I would rather preferably sit here. 00:09:47:10 - 00:09:50:14 Bunny Well, I do like that you don't. 00:09:50:17 - 00:09:55:17 Tom You're setting up a date. You're meeting someone for their first time, and they say, oh, buddy, I'll sit here. Oh, no, I will. 00:09:55:23 - 00:09:58:17 Bunny Nope. 00:09:58:20 - 00:10:02:11 Tom That's the way it came across to me. You can chime in and if you. 00:10:02:13 - 00:10:03:00 Bunny Well, how. 00:10:03:00 - 00:10:05:05 Tom Did that come across? I mean. 00:10:05:07 - 00:10:10:11 Bunny I probably did. Come on. Like she's a bitch, but she's real. 00:10:10:11 - 00:10:11:14 Tom Like she's really not, though. 00:10:11:15 - 00:10:21:17 Bunny Maybe that's why the hookup has been slow down, but I actually did. We actually met this morning. Couple one time and and we chatted back and forth online. 00:10:21:17 - 00:10:36:07 Tom Now we must put a little warning. You may or may not be the couple we're talking about. Just because it resonates or sounds familiar doesn't mean we're talking about you. But we might be talking about you. So just having all those out there. 00:10:36:09 - 00:10:38:09 Bunny Because we get called out, you do, we. 00:10:38:10 - 00:10:47:11 Tom Do we do get called out for talking about scenarios even when we don't mention the people's names, our location, they know we're talking about them and they'll message us. 00:10:47:11 - 00:10:48:10 Bunny All right, so I know. 00:10:48:10 - 00:10:48:27 Tom There you go. 00:10:48:27 - 00:11:15:14 Bunny Sorry. I'm just going to say that we're going to an event across the country. And we had been chatting back and forth with this couple online, and everything seemed to be working out very, very well. we met them in the hotel the first day and they seemed really, really great. Well, then we go out for the evening and he just, like, turn turned into. 00:11:15:15 - 00:11:16:20 Bunny He's going to control me. 00:11:16:23 - 00:11:17:25 Tom Yeah. This. 00:11:18:02 - 00:11:19:20 Bunny And he was like. 00:11:19:23 - 00:11:30:04 Tom But he's her own person. She doesn't need to be dominated. Well not not like like verbally dominating. 00:11:30:05 - 00:11:33:16 Bunny Well and if I'm going to answer to anybody, it's my husband. 00:11:33:18 - 00:11:34:22 Tom Damn right. 00:11:34:24 - 00:11:36:26 Bunny Damn right. And, you. 00:11:36:26 - 00:11:37:06 Tom Know, your. 00:11:37:06 - 00:11:40:05 Bunny Place and he was like, literally. 00:11:40:11 - 00:11:44:01 Tom I could see the people, like, what did he just say? 00:11:44:03 - 00:12:09:04 Bunny At one point he was like, literally like turning me so no one else would, like, see me. It was almost like he should have just peed on my back so people would know that I was. Yeah. And then and then he didn't like the first bar. So Tom says, okay, well, we'll go somewhere else. Then we sit down in the second bar and he looks, I remember this, and he looks at me and he grabs my hand. 00:12:09:04 - 00:12:12:29 Bunny He goes, we're leaving. And I'm like, grabs Bonnie's hand. 00:12:13:01 - 00:12:14:08 Tom His wife's here. 00:12:14:09 - 00:12:17:13 Bunny I go, no, I am not leaving. 00:12:17:15 - 00:12:19:15 Tom We let him leave with his wife. 00:12:19:17 - 00:12:21:21 Bunny I go, if you want to leave, you can leave. 00:12:21:25 - 00:12:22:18 Tom We're fine. 00:12:22:18 - 00:12:28:14 Bunny Here. We we like it. We're having a good time. You can leave. And they didn't. They never spoke to us. The rest of the. 00:12:28:16 - 00:12:30:22 Tom I don't think the wife wanted to leave him. 00:12:30:25 - 00:12:59:29 Bunny But which? Which was totally fine. Because, like Tom said, I'm my own person. I'm strong enough to tell somebody. No. Why? I don't like it. Right. but like I said, we are not in a Bdsm lifestyle whatsoever, Tom and I, I said, but really, if if you really watch this, I am so much more submissive. to Tom, but only to Tom, not to anybody else. 00:13:00:02 - 00:13:06:10 Bunny Right? So, no, you've got it. You've got to set your boundaries for yourself and do what's comfortable for you. 00:13:06:11 - 00:13:12:20 Tom Yeah. yeah, I that was I remember that when that was. 00:13:12:22 - 00:13:18:18 Bunny Yeah. That that little date that he had planned last lasted less than an hour. 00:13:18:20 - 00:13:23:04 Tom Yeah. After chatting. So that leads up. We chatted with them for a long time. 00:13:23:05 - 00:13:23:18 Bunny We did. 00:13:23:18 - 00:13:46:04 Tom And we're not just pointing out this couple, this can go on with many other couples, and especially if you're new to this argument, if you've been in this for a while and you're frustrated or anything to build up, some people go, oh, we got to have a build up before we meet. No, because sometimes the expectation doesn't match. 00:13:46:04 - 00:14:11:21 Tom Yes, the reality. So we would rather not sext. We would just rather meet people and keep any personal, stuff, fun time stuff at that moment. I mean, we could talk about what we're into because, yeah, some people may or may not be into what you're into. 00:14:11:22 - 00:14:26:14 Bunny Yeah, you do have to discuss that. She's sound asleep at my feet. You do have to discuss stuff like that. But, But like Tom said, I'm not going to do anything with somebody else that I don't do with Tom. Right. So we're going to. 00:14:26:17 - 00:14:28:18 Tom Well, that's not true. 00:14:28:21 - 00:14:30:29 Bunny Well, no. Mean, because. 00:14:30:29 - 00:14:56:14 Tom I am not even including interested in the Bdsm lifestyle. The fetish lifestyle. None of it. I'm okay with it. We're friends with a lot of people were we could hang out. We'll go to certain scenarios. Dungeons or fetish parties. We're fine with that. I just don't I don't want it on me and I don't want to put it on that somebody else. 00:14:56:19 - 00:14:58:29 Tom So I'm more of a just a people watcher. 00:14:59:25 - 00:15:30:22 Tom Bunny. She will get into it a little bit. Yeah. the since sensory play you're flogging stuff like that. Me personally, I don't even like Bunny. I, I don't do none of that stuff. So when we go to events, if there's somebody that is doing something and she finds it interesting, we'll go over and talk to them and they'll end up usually tying Bunny up and. 00:15:30:25 - 00:15:31:10 Bunny Right. 00:15:31:14 - 00:15:43:17 Tom Giving her the sensory play or the flogging. And she'll tell them light or hard and, that I and I'm perfectly fine with that, and she's perfectly fine with that. 00:15:43:17 - 00:15:52:28 Bunny But you're right there with me watching. Correct. Now, it did happen one time that, Tom was called out of the room and I was like, I'm done. 00:15:53:01 - 00:16:18:17 Tom Yeah. And I told her I talked to a friend of ours, and I said, I have to go to the office. They're calling me in the office. For some odd reason, I wasn't told why. it was an emergency, and I just told Bunny. I said, you're okay, you're safe. I have so-and-so keeping an eye on you. He's not going to let it go any farther than you want it to go. 00:16:18:21 - 00:16:31:09 Tom And I go leave the room. Yeah, I was kind of pissed. In the office was six dudes and my boss trying to watch a YouTube video. My boss couldn't figure out how to get the speakers to work. 00:16:31:12 - 00:16:31:26 Bunny It was murder. 00:16:31:28 - 00:16:43:05 Tom Meanwhile, I'm like, I get it working. I like I got it going right by the time. Now. This all lasted 2.5 minutes. By the time I got back, but was already done and she wasn't interested in going back home. 00:16:43:07 - 00:17:14:03 Bunny Because at that point my comfort zone was done. I was done right. So Tom is my comfort zone. And so therefore we like same room, same room. We liked we enjoy watching each other. Yep. some people don't. And that however you want to do it is however you want to do it. And the reason why I bring this up is because on social media now, everybody seems to be wanting to find a boyfriend or wanting to find a girlfriend. 00:17:14:05 - 00:17:25:16 Bunny And a lot of people, they don't feel comfortable with that. Well, that's just those people's version of being a pineapple that doesn't have to mean that that's your version of it. 00:17:25:18 - 00:17:53:29 Tom And we do not want to find a boyfriend or girlfriend or couples. That is monogamy with just us. Because, just to be upfront and honest, if a couple approaches you and says that they want to be monogamous with you and you agree to it, you're probably monogamous with them, and chances are they're probably not monogamous with you. 00:17:54:03 - 00:18:03:27 Tom They're monogamous with you and probably six other couples. And none of you know about each other because they keep everything ultra secret and private. 00:18:03:27 - 00:18:09:11 Bunny Well, there are there are some that they all live together. But if you don't live together. 00:18:09:14 - 00:18:15:26 Tom And stuff like that. But I'm just saying we're not into them. What I was saying is we're not into the monogamous thing. 00:18:16:00 - 00:18:36:03 Bunny I'm going to piss off a lot of people. Oh, Jesus. I was joking with Tom the other day, and I was doing something, and I was getting frustrated and, cleaning up something, and I looked at Tom and I go, you can have a girlfriend. He goes, what? I go as long as she cleans up. 00:18:36:06 - 00:18:38:11 Tom Yeah, because Bunny was tired of sweeping them off. 00:18:38:16 - 00:18:47:21 Bunny Oh, that's what it is. I yeah. My back. I have such a bad back. And sweeping and mopping will knock me down for three days. So I said as long as they come in and sweep. 00:18:47:21 - 00:19:00:22 Tom So if you are a female that loves to sweep and mop and you're looking for a couple today, so long as you sweep them off our house, I finally want mine. So, Feijoo. 00:19:00:25 - 00:19:02:07 Bunny I'll feed you. Yeah. 00:19:02:10 - 00:19:14:23 Tom But he's a great cook. Just kidding. Wait, wait. That's another one of our boundaries. And we do not allow people to wake up in our bed. 00:19:14:29 - 00:19:15:09 Bunny No. 00:19:15:09 - 00:19:39:02 Tom And we do not wake up in their bed. Meaning, when playtime is over, we go to our room, we go home, we wherever. We just don't stay there. They don't stay there because we want a long time. We want private time. We want to be able to talk about the other couple without them. 00:19:39:02 - 00:19:40:12 Bunny Being. 00:19:40:14 - 00:20:07:23 Tom On either side of us, and not in a bad way. Just in just general context of how we felt about the evening. That is our dog and, so we did have one couple that it was their fantasy and we unfortunately declined. And we told them that we couldn't we didn't do it because we. 00:20:07:25 - 00:20:12:28 Bunny They wanted to, sleep with us and cuddle and, 00:20:13:00 - 00:20:13:28 Tom Oh, she has a sock. 00:20:14:01 - 00:20:17:06 Bunny Yeah. I, I don't want to sleep with somebody. 00:20:17:06 - 00:20:19:20 Tom I don't want to wake up with dragon breath. 00:20:19:23 - 00:20:20:02 Bunny No. 00:20:20:06 - 00:20:21:29 Tom Our bed head. 00:20:22:01 - 00:20:23:20 Bunny Or passing gas. 00:20:23:27 - 00:20:26:06 Tom Right. Hey, you don't do that. 00:20:26:09 - 00:20:28:20 Bunny Or like, it's a our snoring. 00:20:28:25 - 00:20:44:05 Tom No, it's just when we go to meet people, we dress up funny. Does our hair makeup worth a lot of cleavage? Dresses and pineapple necklaces, by the way. Partners. hi.com. You want a necklace like that? 00:20:44:07 - 00:20:52:27 Bunny And, you know. And and it's funny too, because we have been in the pineapple world a long time. A long time, okay. And we all have. 00:20:53:04 - 00:20:55:15 Tom Our upside down pineapples were. 00:20:55:15 - 00:21:09:20 Bunny A thing. And we, like you say we all have our different play. We all have our little quirks. Tom. He could be naked in front of anybody. He'll be the first one naked. Yeah. When it comes time to getting ready, he wants privacy. 00:21:09:23 - 00:21:15:12 Tom I do. I want my own bathroom. I want my own time. I it's just. 00:21:15:15 - 00:21:19:13 Bunny When he comes out of the shower, all clean and everything, he doesn't want anybody else. 00:21:19:13 - 00:21:22:26 Tom They're fine. I it's just a quirk. 00:21:22:26 - 00:21:24:13 Bunny Yeah, yeah, it's. 00:21:24:13 - 00:21:25:08 Tom A quirk of mine. 00:21:25:11 - 00:21:32:15 Bunny You could tell he was never military, right? Never had to take a shower in gym class. 00:21:32:18 - 00:22:03:28 Tom Now, we singles, we have played with both single females and single men. We typically won't. We do play in those scenarios. We don't have a really big friendship with them outside of play. We we had a couple different ones where they can call us, or we can call them and just say, hey, we just want to hook up. 00:22:04:01 - 00:22:24:03 Tom We go meet them, hook up and go home. But outside of that, because we have seen a lot, not great things. I mean, there are a lot of singles that embrace the lifestyle, but then there's a lot of singles that want what the other people have. 00:22:24:03 - 00:22:41:23 Bunny We actually have seen, and I'm going to say it, we've seen a lot of break ups from the break from singles or, you know, people having a boyfriend or girlfriend because when they were out on a date with that other person, the other person's in their ear, like. 00:22:41:23 - 00:23:18:05 Tom I would, I would treat you much better than your husband or your wife or just we've heard it all. We've seen it all that it's just, boundary. We're not willing to cross at all. It took us a long time to even just allow play time with singles, let alone, have them, I mean, mine, funniest thing is, if you say anything to one of us and you got to have a lot of trust in your partner for this, it ends a friendship. 00:23:18:08 - 00:23:18:25 Bunny Yes. 00:23:18:25 - 00:23:28:02 Tom If you say anything negative about the other one of us. even if it's just constructive, if if it pretty much end a friendship. 00:23:28:05 - 00:23:28:19 Bunny Absolutely. 00:23:28:19 - 00:23:30:20 Tom Because we don't need that in our life. 00:23:30:23 - 00:24:02:20 Bunny No. We keep all negativity out the the pineapple world for us. It is very consuming for us because we do work it. So we work in the lifestyle travel industry. We go to the events where we do the videos. We're completely consumed within this world. So therefore for us, we don't really plan anything. We're the we're the ones that you see at 11:00 at night and say, hey, you want to go? 00:24:02:20 - 00:24:04:05 Bunny Oh yeah, let's go, let's go. 00:24:04:06 - 00:24:33:28 Tom Because we've been working all night or, we've been hosting an event or anything, and we like to meet people where we are, what you call more social pineapples. there are different levels of pineapples. There are only social pineapples. They will never play with anybody, but they like to be around other pineapple people just because of the openness and the erotic nature. 00:24:34:00 - 00:24:51:06 Tom There are people like us. We like to go meet at least five different couples, whether we're going to, play or not. It just gives us more people that we can mean. But we also know that we don't want to rooster block them. 00:24:51:08 - 00:24:51:21 Bunny Know. 00:24:51:21 - 00:25:15:11 Tom So if we know, there's no connection as far as that goes. And like I said, we can be a wingman. We can be friends with most anybody. We don't want to ruin their night. So we'll usually just say, hey, we're going to move on and we'll go meet another couple that thing is, at the end of the night, we met our five couples or three couples or singles. 00:25:15:11 - 00:25:26:10 Tom Whatever. Whoever we talk to doesn't mean we have to play with anybody. We're just as content going home and having a great time by ourselves. 00:25:26:10 - 00:25:27:10 Bunny Yes. 00:25:27:12 - 00:25:35:28 Tom The whole play aspect, to us is extracurricular and just a little added fun, but, you. 00:25:36:03 - 00:25:42:12 Bunny Know, a little wider. It's just a little to enhance, to have fun and to do something different. 00:25:42:16 - 00:26:07:27 Tom Well, and I get it. I totally understand that people would come to our club. They would spend $50 $60 for a membership and then $90 to get in on the on the first night, the membership, which was a year, and then each party was either 80 or $90 to come in, but it was BYOB. Think about it. You're and we had a full buffet and people are like, oh no, it was all sanitary. 00:26:07:27 - 00:26:13:09 Tom We were regulated by the health department. They would come in randomly during our parties and inspect. 00:26:13:09 - 00:26:16:08 Bunny Us, and we were from California, so we had an A rating. 00:26:16:10 - 00:26:35:05 Tom Or rating. So, and if you would think about it, a pineapple club or a stripper club, most people would be afraid to eat out. But we were so scrutinized it was very, clean. I forget where. 00:26:35:05 - 00:26:48:10 Bunny It's gone, you are saying. But those a lot of those people would come in and they'd. I need a car. Some people would. Some people would just have a good time and enjoy each other. And if they hooked up, they hooked up and they were good. 00:26:48:12 - 00:27:17:06 Tom Well, okay, that's where I was going then. People pay $90 to come in. I understand they might have kids at home. They work a lot. They only go out. Some people once a month and we never understood. I understand it, but we never understood it to the point where they would leave yelling at each other because they didn't hook up and they wasted all that money. 00:27:17:09 - 00:27:19:19 Tom But yet they had a great time. 00:27:19:19 - 00:27:20:18 Bunny Yeah, but they were all. 00:27:20:18 - 00:27:22:01 Tom The way up until they. 00:27:22:01 - 00:27:24:18 Bunny Left. But they would always blame it on each other. 00:27:24:19 - 00:27:49:04 Tom They would blame each other like you weren't a great wing person or you you were ignoring the other person. Well, maybe that was a hit and a half that you need to move on to. Another couple are another single. If, like I always tell people we prefer couples, that's for people. There's a 75% chance nothing will happen and people will be like 75%. 00:27:49:05 - 00:28:06:25 Tom Yeah, because if 25% meaning one person is not interested on our boundary, nothing happens. Correct? That includes if one person and the other couples not interested in one of us, or both of us or any of us, but the other one is it's done. We we just don't cross those. 00:28:06:25 - 00:28:26:24 Bunny Lines, you know? And, and to be fair to yourself, you've got to have that respect for yourself too, that if it's just not working for you, if you're not feeling it, you've got it. You've got to tell your partner that right. you've got to let your partner know that that that it's it's not working for me. 00:28:26:24 - 00:28:27:29 Bunny Let's move on. 00:28:27:29 - 00:28:49:11 Tom You got I mean, when we. Okay. So how would we get out of situations is another big question we've always had. Let me I'm by any artist. Easy. Now we just say, hey, let's go meet this other couple or I've been wanting to meet this couple. We'll have nice meeting you. We'll. We'll talk to you later. Not cutting anything off for the future. 00:28:49:11 - 00:28:57:00 Tom Just, It makes it easy out what we would do when we first got into it because we didn't know what to do. 00:28:57:05 - 00:28:57:16 Bunny Right? 00:28:57:16 - 00:29:24:23 Tom So we use the weather to our advantage. And we could either say, like, if we're not interested, well, let's just say we're interested because we're saying too much about not interested if we're interested in the other couple, we could say, man, it's pretty warm in here. Yeah, that means if I said it, that means I am interested in both House of the couple. 00:29:24:26 - 00:29:32:24 Tom And then buddy would reply back with either. Yeah, it's like Phoenix, it's hot in Phoenix. That means. 00:29:32:27 - 00:29:33:08 Bunny It's good. 00:29:33:12 - 00:29:56:04 Tom If they're interested, we're interested. We can move forward that way. At least we knew our signal. But if she said, but it's freezing in Iowa, I. I knew she wasn't interested. And therefore then we would bow out and move on. And the couples never knew until we did a video and we talked about it and we got called out a couple times. 00:29:56:04 - 00:30:01:14 Bunny Yeah, yes, we did it before we did. And we've had to. Yeah. 00:30:01:18 - 00:30:07:26 Tom And they always say, you know, the best thing is to be upfront and honest and it's hard. It's you don't want to hurt people's feelings. 00:30:07:26 - 00:30:19:05 Bunny No. You know, and it's funny because when we stopped using it was when we were in the middle of Palm Springs and, 110 degrees and. 00:30:20:12 - 00:30:23:07 Bunny Tom was really having a good time. 00:30:23:07 - 00:30:24:19 Tom We were in the hot tub. 00:30:24:22 - 00:30:26:23 Bunny And Tom was really having a good time. 00:30:26:25 - 00:30:29:12 Tom She was one of my fantasy girls. 00:30:29:12 - 00:30:35:03 Bunny Yeah. See, this is what I was getting hot. I was getting this. 00:30:35:05 - 00:30:36:13 Tom But he was watching us. 00:30:36:14 - 00:30:40:12 Bunny He was watching you. I was trying to get. 00:30:40:14 - 00:30:41:11 Tom A good looking guy, too. 00:30:41:13 - 00:30:51:26 Bunny He was trying to get things going, but it just wasn't going to go there. No. And I kept trying. And it's one of the things you've gotta learn your your couple signals, you've got to learn each other cigarets and. 00:30:51:26 - 00:30:52:14 Tom Alcohol. 00:30:52:16 - 00:30:58:16 Bunny And alcohol and Tom wasn't catching anything. So I finally just Josh stands up. 00:30:58:18 - 00:31:02:12 Tom Gets on the edge of the koozie and goes, what do you say? 00:31:02:14 - 00:31:06:28 Bunny I'm leaving. It's freezing in here. 00:31:07:00 - 00:31:08:21 Tom And it's 110 degrees. 00:31:08:24 - 00:31:14:14 Bunny Outside in a Jacuzzi. Tom looked at her and goes, oh, I guess my. 00:31:14:16 - 00:31:22:28 Tom Hand on forehead push her back, said, I gotta go. I'm not going to piss off the wife of all people. 00:31:23:01 - 00:31:23:20 Bunny But see, we. 00:31:23:22 - 00:31:50:07 Tom We ended up playing with the waiter. We did. What happened was, is they were fairly new, and he was very nervous. It wasn't that we learned it. We we talked to him later on when we actually played with him, and he had a lot to drink, and he was more embarrassed about his performance. So therefore it was easier to keep an arm's distance than it was to humiliate himself. 00:31:50:14 - 00:32:04:14 Tom Because when we grew up in this pineapple world, it wasn't uncommon. If a guy couldn't perform that, the female would put him on blast in front of an entire club, and it sucked. 00:32:04:16 - 00:32:07:15 Bunny It did. It sucked really bad. 00:32:07:17 - 00:32:11:02 Tom Nowadays it's a little bit more politically correct. 00:32:11:04 - 00:32:34:20 Bunny And people are because because people like us are coming forward and, you know, telling and, well, outing people like that, but telling people that it's a fact of life. Eddie, Eddie is very, very common. There's no reason that you have to live with it, because now I just talked to somebody and you can have things taken care of. 00:32:34:23 - 00:32:53:16 Bunny But back then, nobody wanted to say anything. No one would say anything. And so when they would go back with somebody and they couldn't, achieve anything, then the other person would just like, don't go downstairs with him. He can't get it up. And it's like, you can't do that. You can't do that. 00:32:53:16 - 00:32:59:19 Tom Right? And, you know, they say too much drinking inhibits the clubbing. 00:33:00:09 - 00:33:17:15 Tom So, so that's another thing is we don't deal with drunks when we go out with somebody and they're just tying it on. It's a turn off for us. We we drink socially. We drink. I mean we used to be the drunks but we. 00:33:17:18 - 00:33:20:25 Bunny But we always hooked up with people that were just as drunk. 00:33:20:25 - 00:33:38:22 Tom Yeah. So it didn't really matter. But when we're more the sober ones now because of our jobs and everything, if somebody is too drunk will usually say, hey, let's meet up another time, because we're not not interested. We just aren't interested at that very moment. 00:33:38:24 - 00:33:56:11 Bunny If that makes sense. No it does, it does. And like I said you know you've got to really keep not only the lines of communication with each other but with that couple. So if you really like them and if there was just something that night then you just say, hey, you know, maybe, maybe we can try again later or anything like that. 00:33:56:11 - 00:34:06:22 Bunny But we keep everything like, you know, cool. Unless you just don't want to see him again like I did and said, nope, I'm not leaving with you. Right? Yeah, right. But. 00:34:06:24 - 00:34:14:11 Tom I again, Are we are we talking about the. 00:34:14:15 - 00:34:20:25 Bunny No no, no. So in their email that's next. So basically what we're talking about is, the. 00:34:20:28 - 00:34:23:04 Tom More questions we've been asked. 00:34:23:06 - 00:34:43:04 Bunny And the fact is, is, like you said to this one was just separate rooms or dating or playing together. And that's what you have to discuss and what you guys are comfortable with. Right? We do know couples that don't even like to play in the same room because they don't want to see each other. So they always separate and that works for them. 00:34:43:06 - 00:34:59:19 Bunny So what works for somebody else may or may not work for you. And, it's like I always said, it's it's your pineapple world. You do what how you want to do it. And don't let anybody pressure you or make you feel bad about anything else. 00:34:59:22 - 00:35:29:21 Tom Because at the end of the day, you're with your spouse, whether you like them or not, because again, like Bonnie said, she's seen we have seen people whisper into other singles, like we had one couple where the guy was telling his wife cooking a boyfriend, and then come home and tell me all about it while they played. And pretty soon she dumped him and she ended up marrying the boyfriend. 00:35:29:27 - 00:35:33:22 Tom And we have seen that on numerous occasions. 00:35:33:22 - 00:35:44:16 Bunny And we've seen it in couples too. Yes. Where for couple or two couples are really, really good friends, and then the other spouses don't know that there's something going on on the side. 00:35:44:16 - 00:35:54:29 Tom Oh, yeah. cheating. I mean, the lifestyle that people say, oh, there's no cheating in the lifestyle. Yes, there is. And not everyone is. 00:35:55:01 - 00:35:56:03 Bunny upfront and honest. 00:35:56:09 - 00:36:11:22 Tom All right. Yeah. They're moral. Their morality. But yeah it just be like if they were cheating on their wife or husband without the lifestyle, they're doing it using the lifestyle to fine people. 00:36:11:24 - 00:36:12:20 Bunny And we don't want to. 00:36:12:27 - 00:36:41:28 Tom Now we did say what I at least one couple, two couples where they were monogamous and they were doing the hot and heavy with the, with with each other together. And then they realized they didn't have as much in common with their own spouses as they did with the other half of the other spouses. They literally all divorced, remarried the other half of the spouses, and then bought a house together. 00:36:41:28 - 00:36:46:18 Bunny Yeah. And continued to live in a poly lifestyle. 00:36:46:21 - 00:36:48:08 Tom Who would have thunk that? 00:36:48:11 - 00:36:50:20 Bunny I mean. 00:36:50:22 - 00:36:52:21 Tom But at least they acknowledge that. 00:36:52:24 - 00:37:13:29 Bunny They weren't meant to be, right? So it was meant to be. And they just they found the one. And and it happens. It happens more than people realize, right. but no, it's like I said it to your pineapple world. You do it how you want to do it. You do, you do. You want to be a social pineapple? 00:37:13:29 - 00:37:18:11 Bunny Or if you want to be a hardcore pineapple, more power. 00:37:18:13 - 00:37:44:05 Tom There are pineapple people that was we ran a club for 20 years. We knew them. They would walk in the door and it was like notching the bedpost was. Their goal was. And husband and wives were are. Yeah. Husband wives would have competitions on who can bang the most people and in the six hours that they're going to be. 00:37:44:05 - 00:37:47:11 Bunny There, they literally come up for a glass of water and go back down. 00:37:47:13 - 00:38:13:07 Tom And they I mean, now me and Barney are like that. We're we're we were I mean, have we played with multiple couples in one setting? Absolutely. But to just go hibernate in the playroom and just stay there from the minute it opens to the time they're going to go home anyways, that does that's not the social. 00:38:13:09 - 00:38:16:02 Bunny that's not our, our level of. 00:38:16:02 - 00:38:32:03 Tom Comfort. Yeah. We like socializing. We don't, no orgy settings. I mean, there's a lot of orgies out there. Nothing wrong with them. Mind and bindings, kind of thoughts on this. Is. 00:38:32:05 - 00:38:34:24 Tom Everyone has to be attracted to everyone. 00:38:34:26 - 00:38:38:09 Bunny That's what I would think. Yes. 00:38:38:11 - 00:39:12:29 Tom we do have to have an attraction, whether it be physical or mental. we both need to have somewhat of an attraction. And that type of environment you just got to be you got to put blinders on and I guess throw caution to the wind. Our big thing is call me OCD. I'm uncleanliness fanatic and going from partner to partner to partner to partner to partner to partner. 00:39:13:01 - 00:39:20:04 Tom I don't know when they washed what happened in their prison wallets, I don't. 00:39:20:06 - 00:39:36:11 Bunny Yeah, well a lot of you don't. You don't know if she if like if you're going with a girl you don't know if she's had, intercourse with somebody with condom on or without a condom on or if somebody did not know. 00:39:36:13 - 00:39:44:23 Tom Did he? Not in her. And then next thing you know, she wants me to go down on her. I don't know, and I'm just very uncomfortable in those scenarios. 00:39:44:26 - 00:40:07:16 Bunny Yeah. Yeah. No, no it's just funny because and like with you know a female I mean your, your balance is completely different than somebody else's. And if somebody even doesn't wipe around their body parts before they penetrate then guess what? I am going to get a bacterial. 00:40:07:16 - 00:40:09:17 Tom Infection or a urinary tract infection. 00:40:09:22 - 00:40:17:00 Bunny Just from the pH balance from female to female. So it just it's your your life. 00:40:17:02 - 00:40:45:12 Tom Now, we did organize an orgy once, and what I did was I talked to a friend of mine because we were at a club. Everyone knew who we were, so we didn't want to out ourselves. So I asked him if he would be the front. It was a couple, if they would be the front people, and because they were one of the couples that would play with this many people, as they could in a party setting, which is fine with us. 00:40:45:12 - 00:41:11:23 Tom We're okay with that. and if we could use his place and then we're fine with that, too, because I used to have parties. Yeah. So what I did was I went on a swing lifestyle.com or cassidy.com sdc.com, and I would look at everybody, all the profiles that we were attracted to. And then I would send them a message. 00:41:11:25 - 00:41:33:02 Tom And if they were interested in coming to this party, we were creating, then we would open it up to, each couple that was and it was couples only each couple that was interested. We would then open up the other profile so that they could see. 00:41:33:05 - 00:41:33:25 Bunny Who they. 00:41:33:25 - 00:42:02:24 Tom Were attracted to each other, meaning it was all pre-planned. Everyone would have an attraction to everyone. And then we set it up to 8:00 to 9:00. Everyone met at this couples house and then 9:00 if you after meeting everyone for an hour and we had drinks, cocktails, we had pizza. If you weren't interested in even one person, how many people did we have? 00:42:02:29 - 00:42:06:26 Tom We had 12 couples. So, yeah. And a 11th stay. 00:42:06:27 - 00:42:07:22 Bunny Yeah. 00:42:07:24 - 00:42:37:07 Tom If you weren't attracted to every single person and willing basically by staying, you were giving your consent. We weren't forcing it. We're just saying, consent was implied by staying after 9:00. The other thing was we locked the door. No one's allowed back in our in after 9:00. And that way it didn't interrupt anything. And then we had stacks of washcloths in the bathrooms. 00:42:37:09 - 00:42:54:26 Tom If there was any penetration with or without a condom. We're not mom and dad. We're just saying, with or without, before it went into somebody else's present wallet, they needed to go to the bathroom and actually wash their junk. And so with the female. 00:42:55:25 - 00:43:02:25 Tom And that was probably one of our best parties. We've only done it once and it was hard to do. 00:43:02:26 - 00:43:03:07 Bunny Yeah. 00:43:03:13 - 00:43:10:03 Tom But it was probably one of the best experiences we've ever had because it was, it was a lot of fun. 00:43:10:05 - 00:43:12:18 Bunny It was a lot of fun for sure. 00:43:12:20 - 00:43:21:20 Tom But he did have to pull somebody off of me because it was her intention to make me right. And Bonnie's right. 00:43:21:21 - 00:43:23:16 Bunny No no no no no no no. 00:43:23:16 - 00:43:24:05 Tom We're here to have. 00:43:24:05 - 00:43:42:06 Bunny Fun with a lot of people and people. Not just one, not just one person. That was during Eddie. And when he was able to achieve an erection the minute he orgasm, he was done for the night night done. And I'm like, no, no, no no no no no no no. 00:43:42:10 - 00:43:45:26 Tom Once it goes up it's fine. But once 00:43:45:28 - 00:43:51:13 Bunny So I was like no no no no no he, he didn't come here for just you. Right. I was nice about it. 00:43:51:19 - 00:43:53:23 Tom Now we haven't been this open in. 00:43:53:26 - 00:43:54:20 Bunny A long time. 00:43:54:23 - 00:44:09:22 Tom I mean we're, we're open books but we've never really laid it out there because like I said, these are questions people ask us. And we thought, you know what? We finally started documenting the questions and a lot of them are off the top of our heads. 00:44:09:22 - 00:44:26:02 Bunny Right. And because, like I said, a lot of people were like, well, I don't want to go on a date with somebody or I don't want to be in separate rooms. So we just putting it out there that, yeah, Tom and I are normal everyday people that have the extra curricular, but we like to do it together. 00:44:26:07 - 00:44:29:11 Bunny Yeah. So that's just it. 00:44:29:18 - 00:44:55:04 Tom Now let me look. Let me show you how old I am. We got the glasses or 45 minutes. All right. So we're going to call this one, a done deal. We'll get this one up. If you did not know we are on YouTube, we're also on every part, part, podcast site. I'm getting tongue tied. 00:44:55:06 - 00:45:18:21 Tom we also own all the social media platforms. Just look at Tom and Bonnie. If you're watching us, it's right there on the screen. Tom and boo and y. Yeah, and that's Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and all the, podcast sites. we like Spotify. I mean, it works out really good. And you can see all of our new images that we put up. 00:45:18:26 - 00:45:19:24 Bunny Of course. 00:45:19:26 - 00:45:48:18 Tom If you have any questions, go to Tom and bunny.com and click the contact link. And we'll, we'll reply to that. And if you are looking at traveling to hedonism, desire bliss cruises or even not in dollars, we would much, much, much really appreciate if you would book with Tom's trips.com because this is how we do these videos. 00:45:48:18 - 00:46:09:07 Tom It cost you zero and it cost you nothing more and you might save money booking with Tom's trips than anyone else are the resort directly. So please, we beg you buck with Tom's trips.com so our bosses will continue to keep paying us to be sitting here talking about our sex life. 00:46:09:09 - 00:46:11:21 Bunny He's happy because they're not because they're. 00:46:11:21 - 00:46:17:10 Tom Not going to talk to you about their sex life. So anyway, until next video. 00:46:17:13 - 00:46:18:13 Bunny We'll see you soon. 00:46:18:14 - 00:46:19:15 Tom We'll see you soon.